Life

My Mother has decided since none of her three children have produced any grandchildren for her, she will adopt her own grandchildren.

CABBIES

I don't know what it is really, but cabbies are the easiest people to talk to for me.  Normally I would be really shy meeting and talking with someone new, but apparently if you drive a vechicle and I pay you money it is a breeze.  For some reason I love talking shop with cabbie drivers.  I seem to really connect with the difficulty in depending on Friday and Saturday nights to pay the rent.  Just saying.

Genius

The person that designed the Dairy Queen sign is genius.  I want to stop for a blizzard everytime.

Fun with animals

I am highly allergic to cats and dogs.  So each of my two sisters had a cat while I was growing up and my mom had a dog.  Here are two of my favorites things I did to pay them back.

1.  I would put mayonnaise on my dogs snout in a location that he could never quite reach.  I licked and licked but could never get it.  I think it was probably the happiest moment in his life.  My mother on the other hand would totally disagree.  When ever we had mayonnaise on the table she would say, "you better not put mayonnaise on the dogs noise."  I always did, because it was so damn funny.

2.  My sister rescued an emaciated kitty, which become the fattest, laziest cat.  I never saw it move at a higher pace than a mosey until one of the funniest days in my life.  That day I received a helium filled balloon probably to recognize a very significant achievement in my life.  I don't remember the achievement that resulted in that helium filled balloon but I do remember tying the string around my sister's fat cat.  It terrified him so much he took of running.  He was obviously not used to running because he slammed into the wall, meowed, then backed up and ran into the wall again.  It continued for awhile; wall, meow, wall, meow, wall, meow, wall, meow, then for some reason my sister stopped the fun.  I probably should have received a helium filled cat balloon for that achievement.  Meow.

WHERE THERE IS A WILL THERE IS A WAY, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT

My sister desired a cute kitten like nothing else.  Yes of course like any 7 year old she would take full responsibility of being a kitty owner.  Yes she would feed her every day and clean her litter too.  No my parents did not believe it.  They decided to have a “test run” with a shorter life span animal that would be sequestered to a cage. 

She received a Guinea Pig for Christmas, which she named Christmas.  She loved and cared for that animal for whole 2 weeks.  Then the animal was moved to the back room and basically forgotten until she tragically died.  I will not go into the circumstance of her earlier death.  Well actually I am not allowed to until the trial has been completed.

Of course my sister was quite distraught.  Due to the frost Christmas was placed in a shallow grave for her eternal rest.  We woke the next morning to my sister screaming, “Christmas is all over the back yard.”  Apparently our neighbor’s dog dug up her final resting place and decided to spread some Christmas cheer. 

My sister got her kitty.

Feat of the Day

I had quite the experience on the Metra the other day.   I rode the train from Harvard to Chicago with a man who got on the train with a full 2 liter of RC cola and left the train with an empty 2 liter of RC cola.  He was focused like a well trained athlete.  He didn't listen to music, he didn't read anything, he didn't even look out the window.  He had a 2 liter bottle of RC cola and that was his focus.  He drank it like it was no big deal he had a 2 liter bottle of RC cola, but I knew it was big deal.  He didn't panick and drink it all during the first 15 minutes of the time.  No, he timed it perfectly. He started with full RC cola and finished is last sip of RC cola as we arrived at the Oglive Transporation Center.  He never visited the facilities.  He drank his RC cola.  I chatted with him for a bit, but we both knew he was just being kind.  His focus was his RC cola and I applaud him for a job well done.  I can only hope the next time I ride from Harvard to Chicago I get to experience the feat of drinking a 2 liter of RC cola during one train ride.

SOMETIMES

Sometimes I don’t want to wake up

Sometime I just want to sleep

Sometimes I wake up

Sometime I can’t sleep

Sometimes it is nice out and I stay inside.

Sometimes it is gloomy out and I go outside

Sometimes isn’t all the time, but it is sometimes.

WHY

Like any good 6year old, I find myself asking why a lot.  I have learned to stop asking why at work, because the question never seems to have a good answer.  If I just do it without understanding the logic it makes the work day smooth. 

I ask myself why I'm here a lot.  Maybe the answer is just because.  It is probably as good an answer as any. 

Baby Names

Boy - Ichabod  Girl - Ichaboda
Boy - Bingo  Girl - Binga
Boy - Guy  Girl - Gal
Boy - Orange  Girl - Apple
Boy - Hussein  Girl - Husseina
Hermaphrodite - Sam

PRIVATE CALLER

Why do you call?  Does anyone ever answer?  Do you really want to talk to someone that answers their phone when it comes up private? 

You crazy bo.