1. I discovered a light switch that was unknown to the bar employees. The bar had blackouts all night. Well, until I got kicked out.
2. I put a lamp fixture in my pants to accentuate my dance moves. The bouncer was not impressed.
3. I tried to steal a 4' Bud Light inflated bass. It was something that I definitely needed, but my scheme was thwarted by a cunning bartender. It's to bad because I think my life would have turned out much better if I didn't have to release that bass. It would have been different than all the other stupid crap a stole from bars in college, that bass would have been special.