Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Anything?

I mean to say a lot of thing but I remain silent.

If I mean to say something but I don't does it mean anything?

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Right Now

I'm typing right now.*

*This statement was true at the time but is probably not true as you are reading it.**

**Well actually if it is currently any day Monday through Friday between the hours of 7am and 5pm it quite possibly could be true.***

***Do you really care?****

****Deeply.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Bald is beautiful

Switching around the TV the other day, I came across my favorite show in high school, Star Trek The Next Generation.  I know.  I know.  I had a huge crash on Jean-Luc Picard.  God I loved him.  Yes that probably explains why I didn't date much in high school

This memory shook lose my childhood crush on.... 

Daddy Warbucks.   I watched Annie over and over again.  Which reminded me of my favorite movie from childhood, The Ten Commandments.  Staring my biggest crush of all...

Rameses II, Yul Brynner.  I would get so excited every Easter because I knew all 5 hours of The Ten Commandments would be on TV.  My unending consumption of peeps probably played a role in the heightened excitment I felt.

I guess it makes since I ended up with a bald man.  Man, I'm sure glad I turned out to be attracted to bald guys instead of old dudes. 

Funny? Yes.







See more

Saturday, November 6, 2010

My Dad is funny

My parents are Republicans. 
I am not.

I texted my father on election night to tell him I voted for Mark Kirk, a Republican for the US Senate.
Here is my father's text back.

"Who is this?  Samantha if you've been abducted by aliens blink the North star twice at 8pm!  We'll find you no matter what.

We love you and we'll get you back no matter what the cost."

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Life

Alive.
Live.  Live.  Live.  Live.  Live.  Live.  Live.
Day.  Day.  Day.   Day.  Day.  Live.  Live.
Day.  Day.  Day.   Day.  Day.  Day.  Live.
Day.  Day.  Day.   Day.  Day.  Day.  Day.
Dead.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Choose Life

I agree with the sign.  These people really should have read the sign.  If only they read the sign.

Seen in Shannon, IL.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Statistics

Statistics are meaningless until you are the statistic.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Sustainable

Um.  I think there might be a problem with our society when we need to put sustainable in front of words like farming and energy.  I would think everything we do should be sustainable.  I thought our children are our future.  If Michael Jackson was right wouldn't we want to leave this world atleast how we found it.  I would like to be a sustainable human being, but I don't know if that is possible anymore.

It is so wonderful how corporations hop from country to country seeking cheaper and cheaper labor.  I really appreciate it when the local labor force tries to form unions because of the horrible working conditions and the company fights it or leaves.  Um maybe we are all humans beings.  Yes your $5 t-shirt is awesome, but it cost a lot more than $5.  Someone who was working in a rural environment is now working in a factory for $5 a month, so you can buy an awesome shirt for $5.  That is not sustainable. 

Be a sustainable human

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Night fishing by the fire

Still.  Silence.
Plop.
Crank.
Still.  Silence
Crackle.
Pop.
Still.  Silence.
Look at that Star.
That's a plane.
Still. Silence.
Whizzzzzz
Got one.
Crank.
Whizzzzzz
Catfish


Thursday, July 22, 2010

Donuts

I love donuts and they love me.  People are always trying to tear us apart.  They don't know what it is like when it is just the two of us.  Donuts really care about me.  They make me feel so good.  People may tell me how bad donuts are for me, but I don't care.

"Donuts will give you a heart attack."
Not my donuts.

"Donuts will make you fat"
My donuts will still love me when I am fat.

"Donuts are just in it for your money."
Well I'm just in it for the donuts.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Pappy Van Winkle

I am spending some Sam Pony time with Pappy tonight. 
I don't know why I want to be a whiskey drinker but I do.  Maybe it's the 1/4 of my genes that originated from Gaelic Country screaming for attention.  Whisky comes from a Gaelic word meaning "water of life."  Who wouldn't want to drink the water of life?  Although I think I may need a new glass to live up to it's definition.  I'm thinking the holy grail from The Last Crusade.

Thankfully my parents were not whisky drinkers so I didn't have any bad experiences as a teenager.  My first real taste of whiskey came from my boyfriend offering me a sip of apple juice.  Hilarious, yes.  Tasty, no.  Since that first experience 5 years ago I have been slowly sipping whiskey. 

Like all of us I have been attaining tastes my whole life.  I acquired my taste for beer through a lot of hard work.  I started at the bottom with kegs and kegs of natural light.  My participation in rugby facilitated my love of beer.  It is tradition for the home team to throw a party after the game for the visitors.   These gatherings involved many boat races, flippy cups and rugby songs.  All of which are very fun and require a lot of beer.  Today I am certified beer snob with a city that supports my snobbery.

My taste for tea was acquire from a visit to a friend's tea garden in India.  My love of coffee was realized while living in Costa Rica for 3 months.  I would love to visit Ireland or Scotland, but I don't think that is in the cards anytime soon. 

I guess I will have to continue spending time with Pappy in Chicago.  I have learned that one classic ice cube (a perfect square) is Pappy's best friend.  I think kissing whiskey by a fire may accelerate my enjoyment of whisky, but that will have to wait until this winter.

Cheers.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Life Pollution

We are afraid and maybe we should be. Our economic growth may be based on fear. I am a strong believe that light pollution is a serious pollution. Stars are beautiful and scary at the same time. They are an unknown that reminds us how small we really are. It is a loss to our everyday life to not be able to see them illuminate in all their glory every night. I live in Chicago and to see the Milky Way a 2 hour car ride is necessary. I understand that crime lurks in darkness, but maybe a loss of human curiousity lurks in the light. Stars are beautiful. Let them shine. Crime occurs. Darkness probably does not cause crime.

Monday, June 28, 2010

My Favorite Things

People wearing funny costumes while being sad.



Monday, June 21, 2010

Mushroom Monday

Black Trumpets


Some type of blue mushrooms.

Coral Mushrooms

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

A Mother's Love

Opening my parent's refrigerator in front of my mother invariably leads to her listing off the contents for me.  I am pretty sure my mother is aware I am not blind, but we have never had this conversation.  A quick reaction to her list is absolutely necessary.  Otherwise, the contents of the freezer and surrounding cabinets will also be listed off.  Again, act quickly.  Grab an apple, hot dog, stick of butter, anything, and shove it in your mouth.  Otherwise, be prepared for a full discourse on her dislike of grocery shopping or "your father's" current eating habits.  You've been warned.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

THINGS ARE GOING TO BE OKAY...

Or not.

Those are the two outcomes from millisecond to millisecond.  One is everyday life.  One changes everyday life in an instant.

I will make it through this intersection or not.
My Toaster Strudel will complete it's journey to my stomach or not.
I will be combined from the genes of two attractive, kind, rich individuals in a stable region of planet Earth or not.
All my activities will be successfully completed in the shower or not.

These deep thoughts are brought to you by Joan Didion's, The Year of Magical Thinking.  It's a heavy book that doesn't physically weigh very much.



I hope you complete all your activities in the shower today.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Scenes from the next...

Like any good TV show, I wish my day ended with scenes from the next. 

Next time will Sam Pony eat that sandwich?
Tune in tomorrow to see if Sam Pony drinks that entire bottle of wine in the dark by herself.
On the next the Sam Pony the most shocking rose ceremony ever.
Bang!
Boom!
Pow!
Will our Sam Pony survive?

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Editing

Reality television has shown us that it takes a lot of film and editing to make life watchable.  Which may be why Jesus was always turning water into wine.  Can you imagine watching every one's life?  Boring.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

LOST

It seems LOST has left us with more questions than answers, which sadly is how I think life will end for me.  Although if God is a real thing I hope it has thought out this whole life thing more than the writers of LOST.  It would be a shame if like LOST the initial story was extended because it kept getting renewed.  I guess that could explain some things I find unexplainable, like anteaters, the filet-o-fish sandwich, how planes fly, the election of George W Bush, and the re-election of George W Bush.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Bettye Lavette

Oh Bettye.  I love you and your white leather jump suit.  I love that the city of Chicago hired a white plump girl in a long jean skirt to sign your performance at Chicago's Blues Fest.  By sign I mean sign language.  I love that you included her in your show.  She danced and signed with you as you sang the blues.  You are my Joy.  Also deaf people that show up to music shows are my Joy.

Bettye you have no right to not be playing blues fest.  I want you back.  The city of Chicago wants you back.  The plump white girl wants you back.

For some reason she is playing The Morton Arboretum on August 18th.  Who wants to join the trees, Bettye and me?

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Accessories

Electronic devices like cell phones and computers should have a breathalyzer accessory.  You could set your drunk level to lock you out. 

Bucktown Happy Thoughts








Friday, May 14, 2010

I had a bad day

I had a bad day today, but everything is relative.  Yes, our contract required us to be completed with our work today.  Yes, all we had to do today was straighten a leaning hydrant.  No, it didn't happen.  Yes, I had to eat a crow.  Yes, it tastes exactly how you are thinking.  Yes, it is going to take a long time to stop tasting crow in my mouth. 

Okay now a reality check.  No I don't live in country where I wouldn't even have the possibility of doing the work that I do.  No, I don't worry about basic necessities.  No I do not share a heart and arm with my hotter twin sister.  Man, can you imagine?  She would always get the guy and I would always be in the room. 

Never mind, today was a great day.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Mortality

I just learned that I am a mortal.  This is very disturbing.

Friday, May 7, 2010

India - Things I miss

2.  TEA

I knew tea before I visited India, but I didn't know how great tea was until India gave me the full introduction.


Our first day in India we arrived late at night to our home base, Siliguri, India.  The jet lag was heavy.  We all succumbed to slumber early.  Mike and I awoke early the next day.  Our waiters were marvelous, but there was a language barrier.  The easiest thing to order was tea.  The tea was the best I ever had.  I drank 5 cups that morning.  Nice to meet you tea.  Is it to early to say I love you?

We were in tea country and as luck would have it our gracious host's family had a tea estate.  We spent a peaceful day meandering through the tea garden.  It ranks among the calmest days of my life.  It was a joy to walk the grounds.  Drinking tea in a tea garden is surreal.  I recommend it to everyone.



We were spoiled.  The tea was amazing, but as we traveled west ordering tea did not mean we received "tea."  You see we were all tea snobs now.  We had sipped tea in an actual tea garden.  Just because a tea bag has the Taj Mahal on it does not make it Indian tea.  We were aghast.  How could they serve us a tea bag when I ordered Darjeeling tea.  Should I send it back?  Thinking about it now I guess expecting great tea in Rajasthan is like expecting amazing oysters in Wisconsin. 

I miss drinking tea in India.  I miss my morning cup of tea (or 5) with my two Mikes

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

India - The Himalayas

I told myself and my fellow readers I would write about my India experience every day this week.  Then a drank one of my first cups of coffee since returning from India in January.  This common beverage does strange things to me.  I only "slept" for one hour Sunday night before I was jolted awake at 5am for work.  I know it sounds far fetched, but it is true which is why after discovering tea in India I cut it out of my life.  Except it worked wonders for a recent 40 mile bike ride.

This will be a surprise to no one, but I have to say it, the Himalayas are colossal.  Even the foothills are scary big.  The great part about driving in the Himalayas is you experience how scary big they are by just looking out your passenger window at the shear cliff inches from your car tire.  Shoulders, guard rails, proper lanes, tentative drives and lights don't get in the way.  You remain well aware of the constant danger you are in as you are hurled up and down the mountain, which helps to make one really appreciate the beauty of the Himalayas. 



Our driver, Kalu was excellent.  He had no fear.  It calmed me knowing the thought of imminent death was not on his mind like it was on mine.  In India, having a driver, if you own a car is common.  I learned that most cars driving the roads through the Himalayas drive this route often and there is a code these drivers follow.  Although I didn't appreciate this code when we encountered a broken down truck on the mountain top road.  We tried to squeeze by it the same time as an oncoming truck.  We were bumper to bumper and Kalu didn't hesitate a second.  He threw it into reverse and floored it.  I would think since we were closest to the edge we would allow the other truck to back up.  It would be the safest thing to do but I guess there was a slight head bop or something to let Kalu know it was his turn. 



The Himalayas are speckled with Buddhist monasteries.  I was luck enough to visit two.  I think if I grew up in the awe inspiring Himalayas I would probably be Buddhist.  I grew up in the Midwest which is probably why I am agnostic. 



The monasteries are quite appealing.  The monks walking around in their red ropes are very cool.  The children in their monk robes are adorable.  I was told that it is a tradition that the youngest son in a Buddhist family is sent to the monasteries to become a monk.  That sounds like a really altruistic tradition.  The catholic tradition (requirement) is to donate 10% of your salary to the church.  Which compared to the Buddhist tradition seems paltry.



Which makes me wonder.  Should I give my last born (or first if it ever happens) to a cause near and dear to me?  Would the Sierra Club teach my youngest to run the with wolves, plug piping carrying pollutants into our rivers or master the US court system for environmental causes by the age of 12?  Would the Planetary Society be interested in shooting my six year old into space?  I am not sure what NPR would do with a 6 year old but I am sure they will think of something amazing. 

Some of the photos are courtesy of my friend Lisa Monroe.  I would send you to her photo website, but she doesn't have one.  She is quite the painter.  I would post a link to see her paintings, but she doesn't have one.  I do have a photo of one her amazing paintings, which reminds me of India.  So I will post it here.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

India - Things I miss

1. Sari shopping

I hate shopping, which is why most of my clothes were purchased by others.  On the weekends I usually wear the same outfit all weekend.  If I didn't have a job I would probably only have one outfit.  Damn you necessities.

Our sari shopping experience began as we entered into a store of color.  We were lead to a comfortable couch as our sales staff removed their shoes to start the show.  We sat sipping ambrosial tea while beautiful fabric was flung in the air before us.  As the fabric floated to the ground I had a childlike sense of happiness.  The vibrant colors laying atop each other captivated me as fabric continued to fly above our heads.  When the show was completed we each pointed to our piece of the rainbow.  One size fits all (for real).  No changing rooms.  No need to face yourself in a mirror with a strange, awkwardly fitting garment on your body. It's my kind of shopping.



 

I have been back from India for 3 months.  I have found it difficult to express my experience.  They only word I have come up with is overwhelming.  People usually ask if it was overwhelming in a good way or a bad way.  I respond with just overwhelming.  I will force myself to write for the next week about my experience before even more of it has been lost.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Death

Have you ever had a dream where you feel death upon you?  You know you are going to die.  You feel it.  Then you just wake up.  Is that what death in this life is?  I can't wait to see where I "wake up."  Strike that.  I can wait, but I am interested.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

TV

My father loves TV.  It's one of his hobbies.  One of his other hobbies is "horizontal thinking."  To non-Pony's that means sleeping.  Whenever that 52" box illuminates he tends to participate in both of his hobbies. He never sleeps for more than 10 minutes but some how continues to be interested in whatever he is watching.  If we turn the channel he wakes up saying, "Hey I'm watching that!"  He also wakes up asking for my sweet mother to rewind to to the point he fell asleep.  It probably explains why they are still married, my mother will hit rewind.  Which means a 2 hour movie takes 4 hours.  Is the "secret" to a lasting marriage hitting rewind?

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Child Proof

Seen at 3 Floyd's Dark Lord Days.

This child's toy appears to be a prescription bottle.  Reasons for allowing your child to play with one;

1.  You are training your child to open child proof bottles in order to sue when she is able to open them.
2.  You are teaching your child to not accept any limitations.
3.  It says it's child proof so what is the harm?
4.  You can't wait to brag to your friends that your child can open child proof bottles.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Soundtrack

I wish my life had a soundtrack.  Then I would realize when the big moments are in my life.  Like when I am sitting on the train thinking.  If I had a soundtrack I would know I was thinking about things that were transitioning my life or if nothing played I would know it was just life.  Then I would know I should change my thinking so things would transition and I could listen to some tunes.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Signs of spring on my street

Beautiful flowers are in bloom.


Neighborhood improvement projects have started.  Fresh concrete is being poured.  Wait a minute.


Monday, April 19, 2010

Friday, April 9, 2010

THE UNEXAMINED LIFE IS NOT WORTH LIVING

"The unexamined life is not worth living." -Socrates
Sounds simple right? Examine your own life as you live it, but what is the proper application to do this examining? I guess a pen and paper could work. No, that seems complicated. I could use Microsoft Word. Better yet I'll put it on Facebook. Nothing is worth doing unless everyone knows about it right? Maybe I should tweet it. No don't be ridiculous this examination will require more than 144 characters. I know I'll have a blog. No that is just obnoxious.
Surprise, after Googling the above quote I believe I am supposed to sit quietly and think.
Cool. I'll just put on some soothing music. Well this American Life is on maybe I'll just listen to that while I figure out my past, present and future. Darn, I've already heard this one. I missed 30 Rock last week. I'll just watch it on Hulu while my examination takes place. It will help fill in the lulls of thinking.
Oh quiet my head wth no distractions? Oh I couldn't do that. I am pretty afraid of the places my head will go if I have nothing to distract it. God what did people do 100 years ago? All they had was lulls to think. Scary.
Well that is enough examining for me. I’m going to bed. Good night.

Activities

Activities can be so much fun.
My favorite activities are fun activities.
Hooray.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Who would Jesus bomb?

I just saw a great bumper sticker, “Who  would Jesus bomb?”

It drives me insane that people are not up in arms over the number of innocent Afgans and Iraqis we as a nation have killed in our war efforts.  These people have friends and families that loved them. 

I have nothing funny to say.  It just really bothers me.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Life

My Mother has decided since none of her three children have produced any grandchildren for her, she will adopt her own grandchildren.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

CABBIES

I don't know what it is really, but cabbies are the easiest people to talk to for me.  Normally I would be really shy meeting and talking with someone new, but apparently if you drive a vechicle and I pay you money it is a breeze.  For some reason I love talking shop with cabbie drivers.  I seem to really connect with the difficulty in depending on Friday and Saturday nights to pay the rent.  Just saying.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Genius

The person that designed the Dairy Queen sign is genius.  I want to stop for a blizzard everytime.



Saturday, March 20, 2010

Fun with animals

I am highly allergic to cats and dogs.  So each of my two sisters had a cat while I was growing up and my mom had a dog.  Here are two of my favorites things I did to pay them back.

1.  I would put mayonnaise on my dogs snout in a location that he could never quite reach.  I licked and licked but could never get it.  I think it was probably the happiest moment in his life.  My mother on the other hand would totally disagree.  When ever we had mayonnaise on the table she would say, "you better not put mayonnaise on the dogs noise."  I always did, because it was so damn funny.

2.  My sister rescued an emaciated kitty, which become the fattest, laziest cat.  I never saw it move at a higher pace than a mosey until one of the funniest days in my life.  That day I received a helium filled balloon probably to recognize a very significant achievement in my life.  I don't remember the achievement that resulted in that helium filled balloon but I do remember tying the string around my sister's fat cat.  It terrified him so much he took of running.  He was obviously not used to running because he slammed into the wall, meowed, then backed up and ran into the wall again.  It continued for awhile; wall, meow, wall, meow, wall, meow, wall, meow, then for some reason my sister stopped the fun.  I probably should have received a helium filled cat balloon for that achievement.  Meow.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

WHERE THERE IS A WILL THERE IS A WAY, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT

My sister desired a cute kitten like nothing else.  Yes of course like any 7 year old she would take full responsibility of being a kitty owner.  Yes she would feed her every day and clean her litter too.  No my parents did not believe it.  They decided to have a “test run” with a shorter life span animal that would be sequestered to a cage. 

She received a Guinea Pig for Christmas, which she named Christmas.  She loved and cared for that animal for whole 2 weeks.  Then the animal was moved to the back room and basically forgotten until she tragically died.  I will not go into the circumstance of her earlier death.  Well actually I am not allowed to until the trial has been completed.

Of course my sister was quite distraught.  Due to the frost Christmas was placed in a shallow grave for her eternal rest.  We woke the next morning to my sister screaming, “Christmas is all over the back yard.”  Apparently our neighbor’s dog dug up her final resting place and decided to spread some Christmas cheer. 

My sister got her kitty.



Thursday, March 11, 2010

Feat of the Day

I had quite the experience on the Metra the other day.   I rode the train from Harvard to Chicago with a man who got on the train with a full 2 liter of RC cola and left the train with an empty 2 liter of RC cola.  He was focused like a well trained athlete.  He didn't listen to music, he didn't read anything, he didn't even look out the window.  He had a 2 liter bottle of RC cola and that was his focus.  He drank it like it was no big deal he had a 2 liter bottle of RC cola, but I knew it was big deal.  He didn't panick and drink it all during the first 15 minutes of the time.  No, he timed it perfectly. He started with full RC cola and finished is last sip of RC cola as we arrived at the Oglive Transporation Center.  He never visited the facilities.  He drank his RC cola.  I chatted with him for a bit, but we both knew he was just being kind.  His focus was his RC cola and I applaud him for a job well done.  I can only hope the next time I ride from Harvard to Chicago I get to experience the feat of drinking a 2 liter of RC cola during one train ride.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

SOMETIMES

Sometimes I don’t want to wake up
Sometime I just want to sleep

Sometimes I wake up
Sometime I can’t sleep

Sometimes it is nice out and I stay inside.
Sometimes it is gloomy out and I go outside

Sometimes isn’t all the time, but it is sometimes.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

WHY

Like any good 6year old, I find myself asking why a lot.  I have learned to stop asking why at work, because the question never seems to have a good answer.  If I just do it without understanding the logic it makes the work day smooth. 

I ask myself why I'm here a lot.  Maybe the answer is just because.  It is probably as good an answer as any. 

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Baby Names

Boy - Ichabod  Girl - Ichaboda
Boy - Bingo  Girl - Binga
Boy - Guy  Girl - Gal
Boy - Orange  Girl - Apple
Boy - Hussein  Girl - Husseina
Hermaphrodite - Sam

Monday, March 1, 2010

PRIVATE CALLER

Why do you call?  Does anyone ever answer?  Do you really want to talk to someone that answers their phone when it comes up private? 

You crazy bo.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Zamboni

If I had an opportunity to drive a zamboni I would take it.  Dam the consequences.  


Thursday, February 25, 2010

SLEEP

I love sleep.  It is one of my favorite activities.  That probably sounds pretty sad to most people, but it sounds really good to me.  People usually stay out because they don't want to miss anything.  I leave the party earlier because I don't want to miss any sleep.

When I start a new job or activity I love I will be on time or earlier for probably the first 2 weeks.  After that I am always late.  Which makes me think if I was offered a million dollars to wake up at 6 am every morning, that 2 weeks in I would be laying in bed at 5:58 am telling myself I can make a million dollars another time.  Sleeping is the best choice for me.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Make Up

Reasons I don't wear make up;

1.  It takes me 10 minutes to get ready for work.  If I wore make up it would take 15 minutes.  I would rather sleep the extra 5 minutes.

2.  I started to wear make up when I had my first "real" job after college.  I found when I didn't have time to put make up on in the morning (see above) people would tell me I looked really tired.  I decided to stop wearing make up so when I was actually tired I could put make up on to look normal.

3.  I am cheap.

4.  I think people should be comfortable being themselves.  Plus I am really hot so I really don't need make up.  Atleast that is what I tell myself.

5.  I should say something about animal testing or synthetic chemicals, but I don't really know anything about it.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Leslie Hall

A friend and I stumbled into Subterranean last Friday after a late dinner.  We must of have been attracted by the gem sweaters worn by those attending the show.  Thankfully I had a few drinks at dinner or I never would have paid $12 for a band I didn't know.  Once again my drinking has paid off.  The smile never left my face once internet sensation, Leslie Hall took the stage.  I am surprised I never heard of her since my boyfriend does a lot of "research" on the internet.  He says he is looking at funny videos, but now I don't know if I believe him.



Check her out at http://www.lesliehall.com/.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

LIFE

I wonder if our Hunter and Gatherer ancestors questioned their position in life like we do.

I enjoy hunting, but how many buffalo do I really need to kill in my life?  I know it necessary to eat, but there has to be more to life.  Maybe I’ll become a Gatherer.  I think I might be happier as a Gatherer.  Berries are really delicious.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

I MISS YOU

I miss my crazy neighbors. 

Neighbor #1.  Annie and Jane were awesome drunks. They were constantly falling down the 20 stairs leading to their apartment above ours. We would wake to find loose change, chapstick and sometimes even a bloody Annie outside our door.

Neighbor #2.  Mary was collecting her mail when she was randomly punched in the face by a girl she didn't know. I guess I don't really miss my neighbor but the random punching girl.

Neighbor #3.  I had a weird feeling that someone was living in our building's utility closet.  My suspicion was confirmed when I came home and saw smoking seeping out of the bottom of the door.  My landlord and boyfriend knocked on "their" door, but there was no answer.  After they kicked in the door I found out I was wrong, there were 2 people living in our utility closet.  We offered to bring them to a shelter, but the woman said she was stabbed in a shelter a month ago. 

Neighbor #4.  Meth Girl.  I am pretty sure she was a meth head.  We would constantly hear her scream at her boyfriend and food delivery men.  "You forgot my mother fucking coke.  Fuck you!"  I awoke at 3am because there was a weird flash coming from outside.  I looked out the window to find Meth Girl having a photo shoot of herself on our porch.  She also left her door wide open one day and was shocked to find someone stolen her bike.  So she installed obviously fake cameras outside her doors.  I think she may have gone to jail or just disappeared.  Her friend ended up squatting at her place.  He eventually stabbed my other neigherbor in the leg.  Good times.

My current neighbors are very boring. I guess my neighborhood has changed.

Friday, February 12, 2010

ALONE

One of the hardest things in my life is realizing I am alone and somehow learning to be okay with it.  As a child I had a fear that I was making all this up.  When I say everything, I mean everything; my family, earth, the universe.  I imagined waking up in “the void” and being alone.  It turns out I was right.  

Read - Anything Beyond The Universe? New Theory Changes Our Destiny

It also turns out I was a weird little girl, with kick ass bangs.

GOOGLE

Someone landed on my blog from googling "pony rape mom."  How awesome is that?

Friday, February 5, 2010

Gross

Some people think having reading material in the bathroom is gross.  I think not having reading material in your bathroom is gross.  What the hell are you doing in there if you are not reading?  Gross.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

HELL

I don't know about you, but Hell always sounded bad to me.  However after being in India where waiting is an everyday part of life, I believe waiting to get into hell is worse.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

RETIREMENT

Most people save their money to buy wonderful, necessary things. I save a majority of my salary so I can quit at any given moment. I think retirement is a waste while you are old. I retire every 2 – 3 years.


My first brush with retirement was after graduating from college. I decided to backpack through Europe before I started looking for a “real” job. It was an eye opening experience. Just as military service is required for every Israeli Citizen. Every American Citizen should be required to take a break between college (high school) and a 40 – 60 hours work week, 2 weeks of vacation and an ever increasing co-pay to experience life. Life after college shouldn’t involve $2k of debt to own wonderful things. Let’s start life after college with $2k in debt for experiences.

I retired two more times after my initial stint. My last retirement involved moving to Costa Rica to help out our friends while they took care of a hotel in the middle of nowhere on the Pacific Ocean for 3 months. Our days consisted of waking up, then making breakfast for the hotel guests. Well, when I say making breakfast, I have never made anything anyone would want to eat, but I did serve them the food my boyfriend made. Next on the agenda, spend time with the ocean, have sex, take a shower, then a nap. To close out the day we gathered fresh fish, vegetables, and fruit for the night’s dinner. Mike cooked shirtless and I served shoeless. When service was over we would drink a beer and visit the ocean, the moon and the stars then go to bed listening to the ocean. I learned life is best with good food, people and pura vida.








I have spent the last two years working a wonderfully challenging job that I have really enjoyed but also had extreme amounts of stress that I am not sure I know how to deal with. Maybe the way to deal with it is to hunt for mushrooms throughout the country for the next 6 months.




I would be crazy to leave such a great job, but maybe I will become crazy if I don't.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Ghosts of Indulgences Past, Present and Future

My Adolesence - Sticks of Butter aka Candy Bars
My Teens - Sugar and Sleep
My 20s - Beer
My 30s - Whiskey
My 40s - Wine
My 50s - Marijuana
My 60s - Hallucinogens (Mushrooms, etc)
My 70s - Pharmaceuticals (Imagine what they will come up with in the next 40 years)
My 80s - Sugar and Sleep
My 90s - Melted Butter Soup and Death

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Life

Ah, good beer is so good.


Visit Annette's Flickr Page Here.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Life

Life would be more interesting to ourselves if instead of seeing everything through our eyes we saw it like we were the star of a movie.  I would think we would watch a lot less tv because watching ourself watch tv would be pathetic.

Friday, January 1, 2010