Scenes from the next...

Like any good TV show, I wish my day ended with scenes from the next. 

Next time will Sam Pony eat that sandwich?
Tune in tomorrow to see if Sam Pony drinks that entire bottle of wine in the dark by herself.
On the next the Sam Pony the most shocking rose ceremony ever.
Bang!
Boom!
Pow!
Will our Sam Pony survive?

Editing

Reality television has shown us that it takes a lot of film and editing to make life watchable.  Which may be why Jesus was always turning water into wine.  Can you imagine watching every one's life?  Boring.

LOST

It seems LOST has left us with more questions than answers, which sadly is how I think life will end for me.  Although if God is a real thing I hope it has thought out this whole life thing more than the writers of LOST.  It would be a shame if like LOST the initial story was extended because it kept getting renewed.  I guess that could explain some things I find unexplainable, like anteaters, the filet-o-fish sandwich, how planes fly, the election of George W Bush, and the re-election of George W Bush.

Bettye Lavette

Oh Bettye.  I love you and your white leather jump suit.  I love that the city of Chicago hired a white plump girl in a long jean skirt to sign your performance at Chicago's Blues Fest.  By sign I mean sign language.  I love that you included her in your show.  She danced and signed with you as you sang the blues.  You are my Joy.  Also deaf people that show up to music shows are my Joy.

Bettye you have no right to not be playing blues fest.  I want you back.  The city of Chicago wants you back.  The plump white girl wants you back.

For some reason she is playing The Morton Arboretum on August 18th.  Who wants to join the trees, Bettye and me?

Accessories

Electronic devices like cell phones and computers should have a breathalyzer accessory.  You could set your drunk level to lock you out. 

Bucktown Happy Thoughts

I had a bad day

I had a bad day today, but everything is relative.  Yes, our contract required us to be completed with our work today.  Yes, all we had to do today was straighten a leaning hydrant.  No, it didn't happen.  Yes, I had to eat a crow.  Yes, it tastes exactly how you are thinking.  Yes, it is going to take a long time to stop tasting crow in my mouth. 

Okay now a reality check.  No I don't live in country where I wouldn't even have the possibility of doing the work that I do.  No, I don't worry about basic necessities.  No I do not share a heart and arm with my hotter twin sister.  Man, can you imagine?  She would always get the guy and I would always be in the room. 

Never mind, today was a great day.

Mortality

I just learned that I am a mortal.  This is very disturbing.

India - Things I miss

2.  TEA

I knew tea before I visited India, but I didn't know how great tea was until India gave me the full introduction.

Our first day in India we arrived late at night to our home base, Siliguri, India.  The jet lag was heavy.  We all succumbed to slumber early.  Mike and I awoke early the next day.  Our waiters were marvelous, but there was a language barrier.  The easiest thing to order was tea.  The tea was the best I ever had.  I drank 5 cups that morning.  Nice to meet you tea.  Is it to early to say I love you?

We were in tea country and as luck would have it our gracious host's family had a tea estate.  We spent a peaceful day meandering through the tea garden.  It ranks among the calmest days of my life.  It was a joy to walk the grounds.  Drinking tea in a tea garden is surreal.  I recommend it to everyone.

We were spoiled.  The tea was amazing, but as we traveled west ordering tea did not mean we received "tea."  You see we were all tea snobs now.  We had sipped tea in an actual tea garden.  Just because a tea bag has the Taj Mahal on it does not make it Indian tea.  We were aghast.  How could they serve us a tea bag when I ordered Darjeeling tea.  Should I send it back?  Thinking about it now I guess expecting great tea in Rajasthan is like expecting amazing oysters in Wisconsin. 

I miss drinking tea in India.  I miss my morning cup of tea (or 5) with my two Mikes

India - The Himalayas

I told myself and my fellow readers I would write about my India experience every day this week.  Then a drank one of my first cups of coffee since returning from India in January.  This common beverage does strange things to me.  I only "slept" for one hour Sunday night before I was jolted awake at 5am for work.  I know it sounds far fetched, but it is true which is why after discovering tea in India I cut it out of my life.  Except it worked wonders for a recent 40 mile bike ride.

This will be a surprise to no one, but I have to say it, the Himalayas are colossal.  Even the foothills are scary big.  The great part about driving in the Himalayas is you experience how scary big they are by just looking out your passenger window at the shear cliff inches from your car tire.  Shoulders, guard rails, proper lanes, tentative drives and lights don't get in the way.  You remain well aware of the constant danger you are in as you are hurled up and down the mountain, which helps to make one really appreciate the beauty of the Himalayas. 

Our driver, Kalu was excellent.  He had no fear.  It calmed me knowing the thought of imminent death was not on his mind like it was on mine.  In India, having a driver, if you own a car is common.  I learned that most cars driving the roads through the Himalayas drive this route often and there is a code these drivers follow.  Although I didn't appreciate this code when we encountered a broken down truck on the mountain top road.  We tried to squeeze by it the same time as an oncoming truck.  We were bumper to bumper and Kalu didn't hesitate a second.  He threw it into reverse and floored it.  I would think since we were closest to the edge we would allow the other truck to back up.  It would be the safest thing to do but I guess there was a slight head bop or something to let Kalu know it was his turn. 

The Himalayas are speckled with Buddhist monasteries.  I was luck enough to visit two.  I think if I grew up in the awe inspiring Himalayas I would probably be Buddhist.  I grew up in the Midwest which is probably why I am agnostic. 

The monasteries are quite appealing.  The monks walking around in their red ropes are very cool.  The children in their monk robes are adorable.  I was told that it is a tradition that the youngest son in a Buddhist family is sent to the monasteries to become a monk.  That sounds like a really altruistic tradition.  The catholic tradition (requirement) is to donate 10% of your salary to the church.  Which compared to the Buddhist tradition seems paltry.

Which makes me wonder.  Should I give my last born (or first if it ever happens) to a cause near and dear to me?  Would the Sierra Club teach my youngest to run the with wolves, plug piping carrying pollutants into our rivers or master the US court system for environmental causes by the age of 12?  Would the Planetary Society be interested in shooting my six year old into space?  I am not sure what NPR would do with a 6 year old but I am sure they will think of something amazing. 

Some of the photos are courtesy of my friend Lisa Monroe.  I would send you to her photo website, but she doesn't have one.  She is quite the painter.  I would post a link to see her paintings, but she doesn't have one.  I do have a photo of one her amazing paintings, which reminds me of India.  So I will post it here.

India - Things I miss

1. Sari shopping

I hate shopping, which is why most of my clothes were purchased by others.  On the weekends I usually wear the same outfit all weekend.  If I didn't have a job I would probably only have one outfit.  Damn you necessities.

Our sari shopping experience began as we entered into a store of color.  We were lead to a comfortable couch as our sales staff removed their shoes to start the show.  We sat sipping ambrosial tea while beautiful fabric was flung in the air before us.  As the fabric floated to the ground I had a childlike sense of happiness.  The vibrant colors laying atop each other captivated me as fabric continued to fly above our heads.  When the show was completed we each pointed to our piece of the rainbow.  One size fits all (for real).  No changing rooms.  No need to face yourself in a mirror with a strange, awkwardly fitting garment on your body. It's my kind of shopping.

 

I have been back from India for 3 months.  I have found it difficult to express my experience.  They only word I have come up with is overwhelming.  People usually ask if it was overwhelming in a good way or a bad way.  I respond with just overwhelming.  I will force myself to write for the next week about my experience before even more of it has been lost.

Death

Have you ever had a dream where you feel death upon you?  You know you are going to die.  You feel it.  Then you just wake up.  Is that what death in this life is?  I can't wait to see where I "wake up."  Strike that.  I can wait, but I am interested.

TV

My father loves TV.  It's one of his hobbies.  One of his other hobbies is "horizontal thinking."  To non-Pony's that means sleeping.  Whenever that 52" box illuminates he tends to participate in both of his hobbies. He never sleeps for more than 10 minutes but some how continues to be interested in whatever he is watching.  If we turn the channel he wakes up saying, "Hey I'm watching that!"  He also wakes up asking for my sweet mother to rewind to to the point he fell asleep.  It probably explains why they are still married, my mother will hit rewind.  Which means a 2 hour movie takes 4 hours.  Is the "secret" to a lasting marriage hitting rewind?

Child Proof

Seen at 3 Floyd's Dark Lord Days.

This child's toy appears to be a prescription bottle.  Reasons for allowing your child to play with one;

1.  You are training your child to open child proof bottles in order to sue when she is able to open them.
2.  You are teaching your child to not accept any limitations.
3.  It says it's child proof so what is the harm?
4.  You can't wait to brag to your friends that your child can open child proof bottles.

Soundtrack

I wish my life had a soundtrack.  Then I would realize when the big moments are in my life.  Like when I am sitting on the train thinking.  If I had a soundtrack I would know I was thinking about things that were transitioning my life or if nothing played I would know it was just life.  Then I would know I should change my thinking so things would transition and I could listen to some tunes.

Signs of spring on my street

Beautiful flowers are in bloom.

Neighborhood improvement projects have started.  Fresh concrete is being poured.  Wait a minute.

Como Esta?

Muy asi asi.

THE UNEXAMINED LIFE IS NOT WORTH LIVING

"The unexamined life is not worth living." -Socrates
Sounds simple right? Examine your own life as you live it, but what is the proper application to do this examining? I guess a pen and paper could work. No, that seems complicated. I could use Microsoft Word. Better yet I'll put it on Facebook. Nothing is worth doing unless everyone knows about it right? Maybe I should tweet it. No don't be ridiculous this examination will require more than 144 characters. I know I'll have a blog. No that is just obnoxious.
Surprise, after Googling the above quote I believe I am supposed to sit quietly and think.
Cool. I'll just put on some soothing music. Well this American Life is on maybe I'll just listen to that while I figure out my past, present and future. Darn, I've already heard this one. I missed 30 Rock last week. I'll just watch it on Hulu while my examination takes place. It will help fill in the lulls of thinking.
Oh quiet my head wth no distractions? Oh I couldn't do that. I am pretty afraid of the places my head will go if I have nothing to distract it. God what did people do 100 years ago? All they had was lulls to think. Scary.
Well that is enough examining for me. I’m going to bed. Good night.

Activities

Activities can be so much fun.
My favorite activities are fun activities.
Hooray.

Who would Jesus bomb?

I just saw a great bumper sticker, “Who  would Jesus bomb?”

It drives me insane that people are not up in arms over the number of innocent Afgans and Iraqis we as a nation have killed in our war efforts.  These people have friends and families that loved them. 

I have nothing funny to say.  It just really bothers me.

Life

My Mother has decided since none of her three children have produced any grandchildren for her, she will adopt her own grandchildren.

CABBIES

I don't know what it is really, but cabbies are the easiest people to talk to for me.  Normally I would be really shy meeting and talking with someone new, but apparently if you drive a vechicle and I pay you money it is a breeze.  For some reason I love talking shop with cabbie drivers.  I seem to really connect with the difficulty in depending on Friday and Saturday nights to pay the rent.  Just saying.

Genius

The person that designed the Dairy Queen sign is genius.  I want to stop for a blizzard everytime.

Fun with animals

I am highly allergic to cats and dogs.  So each of my two sisters had a cat while I was growing up and my mom had a dog.  Here are two of my favorites things I did to pay them back.

1.  I would put mayonnaise on my dogs snout in a location that he could never quite reach.  I licked and licked but could never get it.  I think it was probably the happiest moment in his life.  My mother on the other hand would totally disagree.  When ever we had mayonnaise on the table she would say, "you better not put mayonnaise on the dogs noise."  I always did, because it was so damn funny.

2.  My sister rescued an emaciated kitty, which become the fattest, laziest cat.  I never saw it move at a higher pace than a mosey until one of the funniest days in my life.  That day I received a helium filled balloon probably to recognize a very significant achievement in my life.  I don't remember the achievement that resulted in that helium filled balloon but I do remember tying the string around my sister's fat cat.  It terrified him so much he took of running.  He was obviously not used to running because he slammed into the wall, meowed, then backed up and ran into the wall again.  It continued for awhile; wall, meow, wall, meow, wall, meow, wall, meow, then for some reason my sister stopped the fun.  I probably should have received a helium filled cat balloon for that achievement.  Meow.

WHERE THERE IS A WILL THERE IS A WAY, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT

My sister desired a cute kitten like nothing else.  Yes of course like any 7 year old she would take full responsibility of being a kitty owner.  Yes she would feed her every day and clean her litter too.  No my parents did not believe it.  They decided to have a “test run” with a shorter life span animal that would be sequestered to a cage. 

She received a Guinea Pig for Christmas, which she named Christmas.  She loved and cared for that animal for whole 2 weeks.  Then the animal was moved to the back room and basically forgotten until she tragically died.  I will not go into the circumstance of her earlier death.  Well actually I am not allowed to until the trial has been completed.

Of course my sister was quite distraught.  Due to the frost Christmas was placed in a shallow grave for her eternal rest.  We woke the next morning to my sister screaming, “Christmas is all over the back yard.”  Apparently our neighbor’s dog dug up her final resting place and decided to spread some Christmas cheer. 

My sister got her kitty.

Feat of the Day

I had quite the experience on the Metra the other day.   I rode the train from Harvard to Chicago with a man who got on the train with a full 2 liter of RC cola and left the train with an empty 2 liter of RC cola.  He was focused like a well trained athlete.  He didn't listen to music, he didn't read anything, he didn't even look out the window.  He had a 2 liter bottle of RC cola and that was his focus.  He drank it like it was no big deal he had a 2 liter bottle of RC cola, but I knew it was big deal.  He didn't panick and drink it all during the first 15 minutes of the time.  No, he timed it perfectly. He started with full RC cola and finished is last sip of RC cola as we arrived at the Oglive Transporation Center.  He never visited the facilities.  He drank his RC cola.  I chatted with him for a bit, but we both knew he was just being kind.  His focus was his RC cola and I applaud him for a job well done.  I can only hope the next time I ride from Harvard to Chicago I get to experience the feat of drinking a 2 liter of RC cola during one train ride.

SOMETIMES

Sometimes I don’t want to wake up

Sometime I just want to sleep

Sometimes I wake up

Sometime I can’t sleep

Sometimes it is nice out and I stay inside.

Sometimes it is gloomy out and I go outside

Sometimes isn’t all the time, but it is sometimes.

WHY

Like any good 6year old, I find myself asking why a lot.  I have learned to stop asking why at work, because the question never seems to have a good answer.  If I just do it without understanding the logic it makes the work day smooth. 

I ask myself why I'm here a lot.  Maybe the answer is just because.  It is probably as good an answer as any. 

Baby Names

Boy - Ichabod  Girl - Ichaboda
Boy - Bingo  Girl - Binga
Boy - Guy  Girl - Gal
Boy - Orange  Girl - Apple
Boy - Hussein  Girl - Husseina
Hermaphrodite - Sam

PRIVATE CALLER

Why do you call?  Does anyone ever answer?  Do you really want to talk to someone that answers their phone when it comes up private? 

You crazy bo.